Archive for the ‘Self’ Category

Silence or sound what is nonchalance?

Posted: October 31, 2011 in Self
A world full of deplored enmesh! (Ok that must have been a heavy start; let’s try to put it across simply). A world full of lack of mutual respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike meshed up together. (This is far better and easy to read). Surprisingly this is how life is! We make it complicated, fabricated, complex and meshed structure so that it looks beautiful (or at least sounds like). Whereas what is easily understandable are simple things; put simply across. A few bold statements ‘life is a teacher which comes without a manual of instructions of “how do we live?”’ then ‘growing old is happening, growing up is optional!’
I guess we have firmly put a firm foundation; and even if you don’t agree with the bold statements that I have written. I am sure you can still read ahead without any aversion (not that now I have posted the blog we can do anything about it, but Just in case). A question is being brought to surface and here it comes; does silence kills or the noise? Practically both are disastrous (which was not the fact before, but strangely there is ultra sonic weapon created, wherein noise can also cause serious injuries to somebody. Science and its uses wow). But speaking on personal front, think about it! What is actually is difficult decipher?
Obviously to me the silence, cause you spend a good time of life thinking about what went wrong #!@ where as when it is noise you can try to reason it out. I repeat try to reason it cause many a times, baseless is the word for encumbrance (but one should not lose hope). Silence does not allow you to crack down the actual cause; but lingers a logjam feeling of ‘whose go na be the millionaire’ it can be brutal, time consuming and can be taken for granted. Do what you feel like, it does not matter! (That was not the idea, but people do the best what is convenient to them) So; amazing small things over a period of time never said aloud; creates a vacuum (battle ground) for big, huge and Brobdingnagian issues. Actually whose trail lasts or are present in small, little, micro events happened some ages back.
Whereas noise; can be painful to ears and disturbing to the heart to somebody. It will always tell you what it meant, or the cause of it or ok there is a problem we need to talk about. It is safer way of dealing with issues and things. Think about it this way say there is a naughty child and is locked in a room, you will be comfortable till the time the naughty tike is making some noise. You would be confronted with curio if there is no noise coming from the room (because then you don’t know what’s happening). Similarly it is easier to fight a devil which is unknown.
People avoid and people run (though people should be running in the gardens with fresh air in the morning; people run away from confrontations and brutal discussions). Whenever it is seen that two people are unable to come to a common ground or an agreement instead of accepting that it can be agreed upon, people have funny ways of dealing with, stay mum(we talked about silence before), avoid the topic completely, ‘sorry’ I mean like c’mon it is a discussion of differences and not apology request. The end result the issues remains untouched; communication gap increases, ‘sorry’ does not have any value because the value of nonstop without a meaning perpetually repeated ‘sorry’; has the same value as much as salty water in the sea.
There is this saying ‘choose the devil that is known to you’, I would actually agree with considering that both silence and noise can be disastrous. Silence kept to the grave cannot bring the truth and noise said too loud will only cause deafening to the ears. Choose your way, take your stand, use you head and do what feels correct to you, because no matter what; you cannot keep everybody happy in the world and trust yourself and your decision it is least regretful doings in the journey called ‘life’.

Fears Festivals & Rituals my take….

Posted: October 29, 2011 in Self

What was the whole idea of building rituals? If I may; some 2000 years back (I know that we have the history which is much older that we carry, but name sake let’s consider 2000 years). Human race being not that disciplined (though not much has changed today as well) were to be disciplined so that we stand out of the animal race which we did. How do you discipline then? Who will the people fear and make them stick to the course? Well that is when the rituals were formed to discipline one (or apocalypse would take over, by the evil of course; lol). Ok done; but there are many ways to eat food, right! (Spoon, hands etc.) So to avoid conflict and use of different ways; the rituals and ‘how’ should they be carried out were jotted down (some piece of work huh!).
I hope we are still on the same page and the acoustic is not being obstructed. The society was fragmented; obviously communication was not a click away and easy. Law & order was an issue, as it is being said ‘that justice delayed is justice denied’ transportations were not with fuel and jet engines beneath their seats (basically there were no aeroplanes). Then how would people do the right thing within the frame work of the society? To deal with such cull issues rituals were born. Now when things are in law & order how would people come together, why would they meet and greet each other? What is that that would make them a society? The festivals were the answer.

As with years evolution or phylogenies or whatever took place.  Human being is a greedy animal and lazy too (you doubt this, check out all the inventions just to reduce human effort and work, think through pressing the pedal of the accelerator takes you miles! What effort did it take?) Human being has created everything to suit ones convenience and ease. Rituals are no different where it is too much just cut it short to suit the time frame. For example why is diwali celebrated? And the actual essence for which it was instigated is long forgotten; now it is becoming more of a fad or bursting crackers and if nothing else but pollution! #$# !

The ‘oil dia’ (lamp) is to be lit, the idea behind lighting the oil lamp is something completely different, but today it is more of fancy lights that are convenient and effortless. Can you light an electric bulb with another electric bulb, but you can surely light oil lamp with the one lit. The idea is to spread knowledge and warmth to others, do we know? Why do we do what we do? With the ages people have only forgotten to ask; consequently rituals deteriorated, without the proper foundation built which is resulting in a fragile building. The complexity and ignorance added with arrogance has built up a state wherein people ask questions like ‘are the festivals good or bad? Or are they necessary? Or oh good one more holiday!’

The relevance is to be understood before we bedevil our age old culture. Rituals should not hamper the culture that has been inculcated, incorporated and have sustained the test of time and time again. I am not saying to blindly accept it as well, but before taking a decision can we try to understand the essence; the cause of existence; the authenticity; the reason; etc. think about it. Take what is relevant to you, that suits your taste and lifestyle, trust me there much more than that works and is relevant still today! I will tell you why me even saying to find out, how many of us have felt lost, lost track, failed to reason of doing what we doing! Or just why should we do what we are doing (festivals, rituals)?

We have no time, but completely free; we have no time to talk, but bbm (what’s app or whatever) is always on, we have no friends, but tons of acquaintances to fill a hall. The sense of direction, the cause to join together as a society is to be brought to surface. Rest I may have repeated it in previous blogs but I would like to bring it to notice again ‘Teri barbadiyon ki mushwaren hai aasmano mein, na badloge toh mit jaoge ae Hindustan walo teri dastan bhi na hogi dastano mein’. Fear will not led people to come together but trust, mutual respect and motivation would.

What you say?

Posted: October 5, 2011 in Self
It is an experience felt with many discussed in few; it is actually a life turning and churning experience to be honest. Hypocrites with sugar coated sweet talks and mens rea if not any less; what all they can do is talk the talk rather than walk the talk are like demigods; supernal. On the other hand honest and conducive intentions for the better meant of the whole are primarily outcasted and infernal. It is common notion to increase communication gap, stress on everything else except the objectivity of the issue. The delivery of an issue is more important than issue becoming nasty to be dealt with. Welcome to the marketing world built in families and closed ones. How many would remember a talk within the family? The days have changed; family time is considered to be watching the idiot box together, going and coming together for social commitments. To succeed; mayhem the other one with the efficient sweet talk and nobody would be blamed as well (What amazing use of the brains).
With all due respect to the Indian culture; it is uncouth to communicate between the generations. Only to add to the icing on the cake, the unwritten laws and incompetent people ask their respect; which do not have any basis and foundation. Avarice pulls the relatives near ones and not near ones together. But respect them and the talks should only be soothing to one hearing than the actual truth and hard facts; never the less to be in favour of what the other person wants to hear. Strange but true as the communication which has not ever happened before (on a personal level), but according to the wimps and fancies one is expected to behave and talk and keep in the limits no matter how unfair the issue. Why should I? Because it needs to be that way! Why should I? Don’t overstep your boundaries! Why should I? You are no less than a disgrace! One last try why should I? You are not worth talking, you don’t understand…….

The fact is the custodians of proclaiming respect don’t have reasons, everything is to ones convenience; convenience of the self proclaimed worthy people. It is only apparition but nothing more. The honesty would lie down on the grounds only to be buried under the dirt, accumulated over the years. Selfish motives and traits to act smart are the curriculum taught to the young generation. A few accept adapt and excel, a few lay relax and understand, a few who do want to make their personal lives as the parliament on India don’t fall for it. The losers in today’s world are the ones who fall in the last category. The winners are the one who excel and cope de grace the ones who lacked.

All these are not something new to talk about and surely it might sound like the daily soups that we are confronted to everyday and day after day without a break. The responsibilities are turning only liabilities.  The people who have cooed the skill of delivering are the winners. The crux and the multimillion question arising is do I join the band wagon? Am I supposed to turn myself from the less worthy to the only worthy? And is this the only and sustainable way to be with the closed ones, be it family; be it friends? I would wish you linger around with this thought. The truth is as shared at large with many; is that only winners say; make a difference. Is this the only way to be a winner? Do I join?
We turn up to things / people when we need them; not necessarily cause we want them; or have appreciated them throughout the time span we knew about them. It is just we turned to them cause we needed it. So what people do the same! (Curst reply, defences working, will get back to this in a bit!@?!). Identity crisis a few may have confronted with it; a few thought about it; and rest; it is ubiquitously inexistent. Obfuscate with dark surroundings makes a complete one stop shop for ambiguity to reside; only to realise ambiguity is nothing more than a parasite, nevertheless giving an impression that seems like a lifeline.
Too many thoughts rattle and battle; too many options and too many things to give up; is the feeling shared at large. Let’s tackle one at a time, you would not believe it or may not agree with it but we are just too used to make it sound complex, difficult and make it out of this world kind of a thing! Starting with defensives, somehow the revolutionised human race has come to the conclusion that being defensive is the best way to save oneself. As there is a situation we know that we are stuck; we run, avoid or defend actually none work in favour to solve or resolve but evolve the issue. It surely works to shoulder the responsibility from your shoulder to someone else’s problem but nothing more than that.
My favourite line now ‘Let’s makes it simple’. Peer pressure works more than how we work! (Sadly that is how majority things work). Confused minds well ha ha ha! That we are so used to cause that is something that we don’t like and still land up doing it; the most common examples seen in our education system itself; doctors and engineers (quite a few not many I would say); not because they want to do something good to the society or innovate new things in technology, but cause that is the fad; obviously short lived creating confusion on the existence and lack of desire to perform.
I know some someone struggling actor for past few years; sadly nothing coming to that persons luck! The whole problem is not that they cannot accept the defeat but ego leaving behind a lot of things without a second thought saying that I would be ‘so n so’ and that has not worked out. The idea is to become an actor and not show people what you are, rising ambiguity and objectivity has changed. Surely destination has reached ad infinitum and the road is logjam.
Finally taking all the shortcuts and winding roads; the return to self is a series of paroxysm if not one. You finally turn to yourself for some piece of advice and then the soul betrays because all this time when you were not listening there were shots of drinks served as advice that were thrown out! Never to return, abysmal to its existence. Well this all is getting too heavy the gist is, when caught in a situation relax and think clearly, hasty solutions leads to more hastily eagerly waiting problems. Closed minds would also not allow you to filter great solutions. Be the change and point of solution, and not a source of ambiguity as B8 wherein the scope of differentiation is lost due to a simple confusion of reading as B or as 8.

>Walks of life…..still walking!

Posted: June 18, 2011 in Self


This amazing dilemma of life, this should end! Once this is done I am free. There is no stop, this eery would pass but the next is just waiting round the corner or at times even before the first one is over. It is viscous circle of so called ‘issues’ or ‘problems’ they keep pouring on. I am sure a lot of us have come to the belief that it does not end and it will not end. As each coin has two sides let’s take the other side. It is there cause I am alive and I can handle it; this is also a way to look at things until we have decided eavesdropping! I was chatting with someone and some talk happening about critics; I got the one of the most simple and astonishing reply it said ‘if you are being criticised, it is good cause it means you are noticeable’ LOL but on a serious note a thought. Is this is it we call attitude!
This movie Evan Almighty 2007, I guess not sure but there was this dialog I remember ‘if someone prays for patience; does god give him patience? or gives an opportunity to be patient. If someone prays for courage; does god gives him courage? or an opportunity to be courageous….’ no matter how difficult it is to digest, but all things that happen in the walks of life at end lands out to be for the good. I agree a lot may disagree but let’s try to recollect; I am sure small or big; slow or steady but all the things happens for the good, there is something we have learnt out of it right. May not be pleasant but hello! Let’s put it this way no matter what we have achieved in lives they are forgotten but if there is a mistake……man people are go na make you alive from the grave just to remind you that OMG you know what you had done this wrong.
Things don’t work out the way we had planned, thick and thin are just phases of life that tells us that when we have enjoyed the thick; we will survive the thin as well. Ensconced to something is when we are ensconced!?! Two ways to look at it as a. How the difference would be known if we are not ensconced?  b. Because we are not ensconced we are different. Slight / marginal enmeshed structure may differ between the two; but how do we know the difference? Let’s take a simple example draw a line of 1cm on the paper with a scale, lift the scale see it then continue it draw another 1 cm of line again and again and again…. a few more. You know what I am talking about right! This is what it is at times we have to see things from a larger perspective and from the distance.
Perspectives are perspectives they would change, not by sticking to a perspective and asking for people to change; but the cause for the change to you your own perspective; let the others be! The most difficult part is to change one own self. What you thought when you were when 10 is not what you think at 20 surely not at 30 and so on so ahead; what has changed? You! Are you kidding me? you are you only and shall be you no matter what. The perspectives has changed the way you look at things have changed that is the only change. Ego comes in between you and the shifts of the change because it is OMG it is you; how could you be wrong right? Let the wrong and right be. As earth was flat five hundred years ago a fact; earth being oval is also a fact today.
Times immortal are also for the immortals, I live today and so do you. Issues / problems are today and are required to be faced today. Ideals were built for the ideals and people who were ideals I don’t say don’t follow them I say be sure not to be taken for a ride because you follow them. Every day is not bright and sunny with cool breeze blowing; it is going to be rainy and cold as well. All roads aren’t to the destination, at the end they are just road. All walks in life are not going to be pleasant; but enjoy the view feel the best and be proud that you are walking and keep walking.
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>The writer of my life…..

Posted: May 16, 2011 in Self


Amazing, awesome, filled with surprises, the best I would have imagined, heart warming; sad, sorrow, betrayal, the worst I have ever known, painful, hurt, whisky tango foxtrot, it is a complete mess. The writer of my life has written all of this for me. It is so easy to be carried away with good, with the best, with the perfect solution, with getting obsessed! It is learning with wrong, with pain, with faults. No matter what we do, the limitation of words only seem to be present when it is going great, when I am happy; that is the reason there is a saying “I have no words to say how happy I am” contrastingly the words to define when something is not your way or is wrong; the limitations don’t arise at all. Looking even to start of the paragraph you would understand what I am talking about.
What was I thinking when all this was being written to me! You know what I was gladly saying ‘bring it on’ I will handle it. So here it is all on me! Let’s try cribbing about it, you know and I know does not help, does not work probably making us land in a situation or speaking something that we might actually repent later on; and you know how it works you do good and after a week it is all forgotten, you do bad and people would pass by your grave and wish that you would just come out of it for a while; just to remind you that you did was not right.
Let’s try something new, let’s increase the cordiality with life! When the best is done write it on the stone and when the worst performed write it on the paper. It is actually difficult to practise but easy to explain. I am not trying to be sadist here but we or let me put it ‘I’ cause I believe you are the perfect one no offenses. I have been doing just the opposite one writing the good on the papers and bad ones on the stone. Result outrageous the good remains only till the time the papers are not misplaced, burnt or too old to even touch it, with piles and tones of dust over it; whereas all the amazingly painful things I have been writing on the stone, at the top of it I try to carry them OMG trust me they are heavy also the experience is different cause now I know it could have been worse or is worse but scribing on the stone and writing it all back over again is not go na happen! So one more stone increasing the burden I already have Wow! This is sadly awesome right!
The deal is writing the good on the stone and making a point to write all the good; as it is not go na fit in small or slightly bigger ones so we engrave it on the rocks, reason being I should be happy and proud of what I have achieved but not attached to it, otherwise the demons ego start to arise. Whereas all the wrong; all the shit that is happening and happened in life written on the paper, why? Simple you can refer back to it carry it much easily and make amendments to know something new or better or just the loophole to get out of the shit mess that you have landed up in. If the same thing is engraved on the rocks a. You have to go to the same place to find it again and again even if you are not carrying it (cause nobody wants to carry a bunch load of them). b. The effort is too much to amend or write again (lazy me would let it be as it is) for the good or for the bad result the lesson learnt after the experiences is lost and we! Oh sorry ‘I’ am at square one again.
There was a chance I had an opportunity to change the original writing then the answer was ‘bring it on’ now the writer is me and all I can do it make the best out of it of whatever it left with me. It is easier to complain than to fight; easier to crib than to reason, easier to console than to console oneself, easier to forgive than to be forgiven, easier to give up than to compete, easier to die than to live and live the life you want, cause not matter what you say everything happening now is just the consequences of what you wished and wanted in your life to be.

>Lost and found

Posted: May 10, 2011 in Self


Oh my god! I forgot where did I keep it? Here; here; here could be there; there; there, surprisingly every soul around present is being asked as a clue to solve a Sherlock Homes mystery case; then nothing happens, finally enlightenment takes over and shit I have lost it! How many times it has happened with us? Sometimes somebody to blame, sometimes none at all. At the top of it anyone disagreeing; there is this sudden vehemence taking over the dialect making matters worse. Some lectures you might be able to recall ‘you should have more been careful’ ‘you are so careless’ ‘it’s ok it’s just a thing’ ‘forget it’ ‘what?’
Conversely there are times when you find it back, ‘so I did not actually lose it!’ ad hominem about oneself, the relief is temporary and then back to normal; but if you really lose something that was important to you; you remember it for quite a long time of your life; yet the happiness to find it back is momentary; strange but true.  Ameliorate let’s take this to everyday course, time lost never to be found again; trust lost never to be found again (yeah some would disagree, but let me remind you something, once bitten is twice shy you cannot deny it). Now some more coming up hearts broken; opportunities gone; decisions that went wrong. The ones mentioned latter are considered that cannot be fixed ever in life; ‘did you know that fact’ these are the things that can be found again but the ones mentioned before is something no matter what you do, can never be found again.
Lets alleviate heartbroken; let me put it across this way, you need to meet all the wrong people in life to know the right ones and cherish their existence in your life. Opportunities gone, the fact that you had an opportunity is the sign that you have it to get it, back again, probably would need to try a bit more harder, decisions (hahaha, yeah that is what comes to my head; how would you know it is right or wrong; good or bad; until you have faced it, lived it, learnt it! ‘Genius would have been everybody and perfect would have been this earth otherwise’) the best part of everything is ‘it could have been worse’ na na don’t take me wrong I am not trying here to be pessimistic I am trying to say the world looks the way you look at it.
Capricious is considered to be time; I will do it some other time….. that time does not come back, lost is time but memories of ‘things to do remain’ fresh. Trust me no matter how you cajoled the other person, the catastrophe has taken place, caprice would arise to make the other person repay, often opening doors to make somebody else repay. Nay to say two things happen a) there is no difference between the person who did and you doing it now b) your conscious is going to grieve than the other person who did it, but the ego comes in between(rocket science of human nature, don’t know really how it works, but works perfectly; at all the wrong times). Chthonic is lava, so are million desires beneath you. How many could you fulfil it? How many times we think about making up with somebody and because of the busy world we live in; or so to blame it; it does not happen.
Trite we are to listen all this, how much do we know? Every movement lost is an opportunity. People will not understand! Things won’t work according to you. Simple things would be unconquered, amuck are things around. Until we make anything and everything so very important that is takes over control. Go for tryst with yourself, loosen up a bit; the sky won’t come crashing down on you if you don’t want it. The most amazing line I had read in Alchemist ‘If you ask for something from the bottom of your heart, the whole world shall conspire to make it happen’ make sure whatever it is; that is exactly what you want; ask for happiness, it shall follow; ask for comparative happiness, it shall be comparative.
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